From the Webmaster...

I'm really sorry, but I had to turn of the automatic posting to this page, scanning robots were posting porn and

other such unmentionables....please know that I only did this to prevent a mess....if you have something

that you would like to post to this page, no matter how large or how small, and no matter how often just email it to

me at ladybyte@yahoo.com and I will get it posted for you as quickly as possible....;-)

March 18, 2009

May 08 2006

Well, babe, a year went by a lot faster than I expected. Somehow I don't get the urge to call you every day any more, but only now and then. I miss my best friend far more than I miss my boyfriend. Your input was invaluable and I feel at a loss for guidance. As Suzanne so rightly put it, we must all ask ourselves now, what would Matt do?

I still miss you.

Love,

Well as you can see, Matt's webpage got hit by something that I don't understand...lol  But he is still in all our thoughts and memories. Still missing you bunches, baby.

I love you,

Mom

April 12 2006

I just got back from the cemetery where I had put flowers on Matt's grave. And as I sat there looking at the flowers and Matt's headstone and I realized the two don't go very well together. He would probably be sneezing up a storm by now. I should have taken him a handkerchief.

I can't believe it's been a year. There are times when I want to pick up the phone and call him but I can't.

There are times when I look at Audrey and Sydney and think "They should have one more time with him." And then I look at lil Matthew and I think he should just have at least one moment.

Adjusting has been hard and I know I can get through this. But I miss him the same as everyone else. I wonder "why him?" and "Why so soon?" but in the end I know my brother accomplished more in his life then some people do in a lifetime. And it is very true that he had touched everyone he came in contact with. I live my life now with Matt in my every thought.

"What would Matt think? What would Matt say?" I'm pretty sure this will always be a part of me.

I will forever continue to keep Matt in my children's life by stories and examples that he had led for me.

I miss you more than anything.

And I love you.

March 15...our anniversary. Hey handsome, I miss you, love you.

Happy anniversary.

Well, I miss Matt today naturally, but not more than any other day.

Last year for Valentine’s Day, we had dinner in Annapolis.  We had all-you-can-eat shrimp and crab legs at this cute little place down at the harbor called Buddy’s.  Matt stuffed himself eating three or four buckets of crab legs!!  I think he actually made himself sick, but you shoulda seen that smile.  You know the one, where he’s grinning like a big kid from ear to ear; it even comes with a twinkle in his eye.   It was pretty good seafood though.

Anyway, I went to the bathroom and when I got back, I found a diamond tennis bracelet in my purse!  Then, we just walked down by the water and held hands.  Man, it was cold that night, but perfect for holding each other. He kissed me and went back to Dover.

Valentine's Day 2005 was the best I've had.

*sigh*

Dec 25 2005

*Sigh*.. I couldn't think of any other way to start off. Thanksgiving was very... odd this year.  We all knew what was missing but no one wanted to say anything.  When blessings were said, some shed tears.  Audrey has this Ken doll that she got for Christmas about 2 years ago.  She got it with another Barbie doll and she named her dolls Beena and Uncle Matt.  Well, for about 3 weeks now that Ken doll has gone everywhere with her. He is her Uncle Matt ("But not my REAL Uncle Matt").  And she sleeps with it and sings to it and reads it stories.  She misses him just the same as everyone.  But she does remember him still.  The other day she was telling me how much she missed him reading stories to her and playing with her.  And when she cries, my heart breaks.

And then I look at my (now 4 month old) baby boy and think how sad I am that he will never get to know his Uncle Matt.  I was holding Matthew by the fridge the other day and I have a picture of Mom, me, Wes, and Matt on there.  And Matthew just stared at it.  I like to think because (as the movie 'Baby Genius' depicts, baby's are the smartest people in the world!) But deep down I like to think that he knew in some weird way.  But it was more than likely from the bright pink and orange border.

I miss my brother more than words can explain.  And I cry over him still.  But now I make sure that I call Wes about once a week to catch up.  And I send him pictures of the kids and let him know what's going on in my life. And I cherish everyday with my children and my family.  I do kind of live my life in the theory "What would Matthew do?" But I know he would just be happy that I was trying my hardest.  I think Thanksgiving was hard for everyone, and I'm sure Christmas will be just as odd.  But we have all survived thus far.  And even though our hearts are broken, we will continue to survive.

As of today, we have all survived seven months without Matt, the strength and support in many lives.  When we first lost him, I didn't think I'd last a month.  I didn’t know if I could, if I had it in me.  Part of me didn't want to last, not even a day, without him.  I’m sure many of you had similar feelings.

Of course, I survived and still think of him every day.  My days are long, but they seem to be going by faster.  Lately I’m so busy I barely have time to sit and think about all the things that we didn’t get to do this year.  Matt and I planned to go to Vegas for a friend’s wedding; I just returned from that trip a week ago.  We wanted to start camping again this year, but that will have to wait, maybe indefinitely.  We were already, way back in March, planning our trip home for the holidays, debating about which holiday to celebrate with our families and for how long.  Now, I’ve planned my Christmas trip home.  Alone.

So, in these raw days when I have to go through the same motions I had already planned with another, I think about him, and my life is different.  I go through these motions and wonder if he would be pleased with me.  How big would he smile as I let this lady in front of me at the grocery?  How disappointed would he be when I get angry and shout at the other drivers?  Would he think this man is good for me?  And, I think of him when I already know.  I know how proud he would be if I paid off my car.  I remember his giggle when I tell my friend a poop joke.  I tell the cashier at the gas station to have a nice day before he tells me, and I smile to myself, knowing that Matt would smile.  I remember once when he told me, “I try to make every person’s day better for having met me, not worse.”

This is how Matt changed my life.  This is how he changed me.  For good.  Forever.

I didn't know Matthew but from what I have read on this site I am for sure that he was a very special person. My heart goes out to you in your loss.

Happy Birthday Matt!

Twenty seven years ago I was anticipating your birth with so much excitement I could hardly contain it. I knew in my heart for months the child I was carrying was a boy, no one told me, I just knew it. You were what I had been praying so hard for, and God gave me just what I asked for. You were 9 days late getting here (Johnson time), but you were so worth waiting for. You and I had a rough delivery and everyone was so happy you survived it, by medical standards, you shouldn’t have.

Your life passed so quickly but so many of my memories seem like just yesterday. I feel you with me often and especially when I need you the most you are with me just like you always were. I know you are watching over us all, but I would give anything to, just one more time, see you bounce through the door, drop your bags and give me a most wonderful “Matt” hug with the words “Hi mom, I love you” coming out of your mouth. I miss you so much baby, but I know you are in heaven and that someday I will get another one of those hugs.

So today we are celebrating your birthday without you here, sort of like when you were in Sweden.  I hope you like your cake baby, I baked it just for you!!

I love you bunches,

Karyla and family,

It is very hard to find the right words to say thank you for saving my fathers life.  It is nice to be able to thank you for following Matthew's wishes and donating his heart without that my dad would not be here today.  I think of you and your family everyday I know that it is very hard to lose a loved one especially one so young.  My prayers are with all of you.  I am also very glad that Matthew's aunt has done this website, I have been able to read about the kind of person Matthew was.  Matthew seemed to be a very kind and friendly person that everyone loved.  I feel I owe him so much for the gift that he gave my dad and for that I will always be thankful.

My prayers are with you and your family,

Beverly (Johnson) Krischbaum

As I came to know the man who saved the life of someone so dear to so many, tears ran down my face. I want you to know your son saved a man respected and loved by so many. Prayers were said from Delaware to Iraq for Dave. Please know your family continues in my prayers as well as my prayers for my cousin, friend, and co-worker, Dave. Dave is a very special person to all that knows him. Do know Dave is a kind and loving person. Thank you and your family for the continued gift of life of which you gave to Dave.

Sincerely,

On July 27th @ 2:05am Matthew got yet another nephew. My water broke almost 11 hours before I was scheduled to have my c-section. In honor of my brother we decided to name our son Matthew Thomas Estes. I found out only 2 days before Matt's funeral that I was indeed having a son and I wish he knew. Matthew was the first in my family to know I was pregnant again and he was so supportive and happy, much less privileged to be the first to know. I miss my brother and as my son was being delivered I cried tears of bittersweet joy. My only comfort was knowing that my brother was right beside me during it all and then right with my son.

Johnson Family & Christina,

I never had the opportunity to meet Matthew but I can see by this website how wonderful and special he was to each and every one of you. I am so very sorry for the loss of Matthew and for all of the grief and sadness you are all experiencing. Although I never met Matthew he has certainly made a huge impact on my life. Matthew gave my Father back to me and my children and for that we will never forget him. I think of Matthew and your family every day and am so glad that his Aunt created this site in his honor. It was very nice to see what this kind and generous man was like who gave my Father this second chance at life.

My thoughts and prayers are with you always.

Tracie (Johnson) Albanese

Dear Karyla and family,

My daughter's father-in-law received the gift of Matthew's heart. Words can not express to you how grateful everyone in the family is to you and your family. By your generosity 11 grandchildren still have a grandfather and four children still have a father. Everyone was praying so hard for him to get a transplant and only because of wonderful people like you was this possible. Please know that your gift is a gift that keeps on giving all year long. Our sympathy to you on the loss of your son - I too have a son the same age as Matthew and cannot comprehend the loss of someone so young in the prime of his life.

June 6, 2005

Dear Dave,

I was glad to receive your letter, because I wondered who the people are that received my sons organs. You are the one I have wondered about the most, and I truly believe that Matt hand picked you himself. I am so very glad that his heart is working so well for you and that you have gotten a second chance at your life. Now let me tell you about my beautiful son who donated your heart....

Matthew is my first born son and at the very young age of 26 passed on to the other side. He was one of the most amazing young men I ever knew. He was so loving and compassionate and a real friend to everyone he met. And he met many, many people in his short life. He was such a little entertainer in his youth and was always thinking up things for his brother, sister and him to do. He was raised on a goat farm from the time he was about 6 until he was about 15. He loved the animals and also loved the outdoors. Matt’s dad was into hunting and therefore camouflaged clothing was always a part of our household. He and his brother and little sister would always be dressed like army men and would hike and have battles all the time. He was always so interested in anything to do with the military but he never joined. Their dad was also very knowledgeable about history and both Matt and his brother soaked up all the lessons they could learn from their dad. History would become a huge part of who Matt was. He was very good in school and earned a full academic scholarship to a college here in town. He traveled to Karlstad, Sweden in his junior year of college as an exchange student. He loved to travel and left here at the age of 19 with only a backpack of belongings. As you can imagine, as his mom, I was beside myself. But Matt always did things his way in the end. He and I were so very bonded as mother and son from the day he was born, that he became my very best friend and confidant. Anyway, he spent his year in Europe and traveled as much as he could. He would get so excited when he would find some historical place he had only read about and he would call home and talk a mile a minute and tell us all about it. He left a trail of friends there that he maintained friendships with up until the day he died. He then came home and finished his degree in communications. In the meantime, my ex-husband and I had started an army surplus business and were doing very well. Matt always had trouble working with his dad, but definitely had the same interest as him. When Matt got out of college he went to work for an advertising company proof reading written material. He was so bored and felt so caged in that I knew that job wouldn’t last long, and it didn’t. He contacted an old friend who owns an online WWII reproduction company. Matt managed to work his way into a management position with this company. He was so happy working with all that 50 year old stuff and finding treasures along the way. The owner eventually moved the business 2 hours from where we live and Matt was, once again, excited to start on a new adventure in his life. So he moved with the business and got himself a little apartment and a dog (I have her now) and life was wonderful for him. He was doing everything that he wanted to do and was enjoying it all. He again, made some very long lasting friendships along the way. After a few years at this company he started to get bored because he had pretty much done all he could do there. That is when a friend told him about a business in Dover, DE that needed someone just like him to help them out. So Matt went up and met the owner and they were a match made in heaven. He and the owner thought along the same lines and were both excited about the new adventure ahead. So in April of 2004, I helped him pack up and move to DE. He had already found an apartment and we got him all moved in and settled within a week. I met the owner of the company and immediately took a liking to him to. I got to visit Matt in DE about 4 or 5 times over the short 11 months he was there, and he came home every chance he got to see us. He and his boss would come to Louisville to do military shows and they would always stay with me. The last time I saw Matt was two weeks before he died here in my home. They had been here for a big show, and when he was leaving, the hug he gave me was very different than all the other hugs we had exchanged. Matt and I shared a very close intuitiveness that most people never know. I personally think that he knew it may be the last time we would hug. When I got the phone call on that terrible Wednesday night, I knew immediately that I had lost my beautiful son. But for some weird reason, I always knew I wouldn’t have Matt for my lifetime. I never felt that way about my other two kids, but I knew I would lose Matt. He was such a special person, and I wish I could tell you about every minute of his amazing life, but that would take 26 years!

Matt was also a very spiritual person and he loved God from the time he was a little boy. He once thought seriously about becoming a priest, but I think his quest for adventure got in the way of that. But he remained very close to God and I knew that whenever God called him home he would be ready to go without question. When Matt was 15, he hand wrote a will and the very first paragraph in it was that he wanted to donate his organs to people that needed them. He was so unselfish even at that age. When he was about 25, he came to me and wanted me to go with him to make out a real will and also a living will. He told me that if anything happened to him that he never wanted to be kept alive on life support and that he wanted to donate all the organs that could be used. He made me his executor because he knew I would do what he wanted. I remember the day he handed me the handwritten will and it was all sealed up with a wax stamp on the back and I never opened it and read it until after I got home from DE when he died. Of course by then all his organs had been harvested and 5 people were on their way to a second chance at life. You are the only one I have heard from at this point. Anyway, it was never a decision of mine or his dad’s to donate his organs… it was all Matthew!

There is so much more that I want you to know but I guess this is good for a start. Matt’s dad and I divorced 3 years ago and he also had a girlfriend for the past 2 years. I’m telling you this because the people at GIFT send all 3 of us the same information and letters, so you will probably be getting or already have gotten letters from them too. This is such an emotional thing for me to do, and I’m sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your letter. I am taking things day by day and I am mostly having good days now. I will forever miss him more than anything in my life, but I know he is watching over me all the time and I draw strength from him daily. I’m not sure how long we have to stay anonymous, but I am willing to correspond with you via email if you ever want to. Matt’s aunt has built a webpage in his honor and it is just beautiful but it contains his name and where he lived and worked. I want you to see it someday and I’m going to put the web address on a separate piece of paper for the GIFT people to decide when to give it to you. This whole process is very strange to say the least. So, if you are ready to see who Matt is and you want to email me then call the GIFT people and ask for the website address and my email address.

Please take care of yourself and know that you have the heart of one of God’s most loved children.

Sincerely,

Karyla

Karyla,

My name is David Allen Johnson, Sr.  I am the recipient of Matthew's heart.  I received your very touching letter today and searched the internet to find your web page.  I was excited to finally learn something about my donor and to see what a special person Matthew truly was.

Karyla received this in the mail last week:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am sorry that your loved one is no longer with you.  But I would like to give thanks for the cornea that was donated to me.  At one point I thought I would never get my vision back because the problems I was having with my eyes caused me to stop attending school.  Now, I look forward to going back thanks to the new cornea.  Both my family and I are very thankful.

May God bless you all.

May 31 2005

An "add- on" to the bowling story from Audrey's mom:

Hi Matt,

I just want to share a couple of things with you....first, we all still miss you terribly, but I'm sure you already know that.   Your mom has good days and bad days....mostly because there are so many reminders of you in her everyday life.  She needs some of your unstoppable strength....:-)

Miss Audrey was sharing her thoughts with your mom telling her about a really loud thunderstorm we had last week. 

"Uncle Matt and God were bowling in heaven and it was really loud"......she paused a moment then began to jump up and down shouting gleefully, ".....AND UNCLE MATT WON!!!"

We all love you, Sweetie....:-)

Aunt Connie

I am the very grateful 57 year old male who received the precious gift from your loved one.  Words cannot even begin to thank you enough for the second chance I've been given.

I've been married to my wife for the past 38 years, we have 3 daughters, 1 son, 1 daughter-in-law, 3 sons-in-laws, 11 grandchildren and a host of nieces and nephews.  I have worked full time for the past 41 years and have always been a very outgoing person, full of life, independent and always very humorous. 

On January 3rd, I suffered a massive heart attack and my chances of survival were slim to none.  I was told that a heart transplant was the only thing that could save me.  My body became worse with each passing day and I found myself unable to do the things I was always able to do on my own.  My quality of life was very poor and I spent each and every day in a hospital room.  At the end of January, I became very weak and doctor's said that I didn't have much time left, the only thing they could do for me was insert a ventricular assist device to pump my heart for me on a temporary basis.  I was very grateful to have such technology but at the same time I thought I'd have these things for the rest of what little life I had left, I'd never be able to go home, I'd never be able to really visit with my Grandchildren again.  I did as the Doctors and my Family said though and I kept on fighting, pushing myself to walk everyday to get my strength up and to have some sort of life other than just sitting in a hospital bed.  The Doctors were amazed at how much fight I had in me to get up and keep going everyday with the devices I had.  I couldn't have done that without the love and support of my wife and family and my drive to get through another day.  While waiting for a new heart I began to find myself in a very awkward place.  I kept thinking that someone else would have to experience a tragedy in order for me to receive the miracle I was desperate for.

I want you to know how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your loved one.  I think of your family everyday and wonder what your loved one might have been like.  It takes a truly kind, generous and unique person to give so generously to a complete stranger.  Your loved one and your family are in my thoughts and prayers every single day.  Without your family's decision to donate I would not be here today.

I thought that you might like to know that the doctors are very pleased with my recovery.  I'm slowly getting my strength back every day and just yesterday I was able to walk on my own without using a walker.  I have had no signs of rejection and the heart is functioning extremely well.  After a very long 3 months in the hospital I look forward to going home with my family any day now.  All of this is possible because of your family's decision to donate.

I know that saying thank you is not enough and I wish I could do more.  I do hope that you know how truly grateful I am.  I will never take a single day for granted and I will live and love life to the fullest extent.  I sincerely hope that your family receives nothing but happiness and prosperity in the years to come.

Sincerely,

Dave

Heart Recipient

I knew Matt from Ebay more than 5 years ago and did a lot of trading with him.  He was honest and we became friends.  In 2003 we finally met in KY and the time we have had together was too short, he had to go to a show again.  But it was a big pleasure for me and Matt and we have had a great 2 days.  I didn't hear from him for a long time and sent a short email.  The shortest ever. "Hey !"  Then I got the message from Karyla.   I was shocked and still am as I write this.  Matt and me talked a lot about our hobby and drinking "cold ones" when we would meet again.  It would have been August this year for our 2nd "cold ones"party.

Matt, my amigo...I will miss you and I will remember you.

To Matt's family I want to say: I'm sure he is in good hands now and having a good time.

Till we meet again Amigo.

Best regards, love, respect and strength.

Patrick & Karin

May 20 2005

Matt,

I was devastated by your passing.  Words cannot express the human sorrow I feel deep in my heart, in your absence.  In my own business, I feel so alone now that you are gone.  We shared so much together in the last months of your life.  We were having such a great time!  I just didn't know we were having the "time of your life".

Now that your gone, I see so much wisdom in your words.  You told me once that you "meet a lot of friends in your life.  But you just can't stay in contact with every person you ever meet.  Some friends you leave behind and remember, others will try to maintain a long distance relationship, but you will always be meeting NEW FRIENDS.  But when it's time to move on, you just move on... No regrets, just new adventures ahead."

I know when you came to Dover, you were seeking adventure.  We had a blast for as long as it lasted!  The fits of uncontrollable laughter brought tears to our eyes.  We did have a great time, and now I'm trying to take your advice and move on, as much as humanly possible.  Please bear with us mortals as we try to move on. As I sat in the store that fateful night and I heard the helicopter fly over my head, I just knew you were leaving us for the last time.  I felt your presence then as I do now.  I KNOW you are with all of us.

I once had a friend...let me tell you about him...

You were and are the best my friend!

Cheers

I found this poem again recently that I've heard before.  I loved it when I first read it & now it has so much more meaning for me.  I can see why some might be upset by it, but I found it so comforting, I thought I should share it with you all.  I think of you all daily & miss you horribly.  Don’t ever forget me.  A little piece of Matt lives in each of us & we must share our piece with each other to keep him whole.

I love you,

Christina

Do not stand by my grave and weep;

I am not there.  I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am a diamond glint of snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle morning rain.

When you awake in the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in flight.

I am the soft starshine of night.

Do not stand by my grave and cry;

Just wanted to sign Matt's guestbook and let you know that my prayers are with you and your family over the loss of Matt. What a special feeling you must have knowing that part of your son ... lives on and has made a difference in so many lives. Personally, I received a liver over two years ago. The transplant went well and God has been taking care of me ever since. Without the love and generosity of donors like Matt, I would not be alive today. I will continue to pray for your loved one and family. My wish is that others can see how important organ donations are to everyone and take steps today to donate.

I received a letter from the donor organization about the gift Matthew so graciously made to others and I would like to share it with you:

Dear Mr. Johnson:

I want to extend my deepest condolences to you on the loss of your son, Matthew. The sudden death of a loved one is one of the most painful experiences a family can endure. Your strength and courage in thinking of others during this difficult time are a tribute to you and to Matthew’s memory. I would like to share with you some information about the recipients of your son’s gifts.

The gift of your son’s heart went to a 57-year-old gentleman from Delaware. He is married with four children and eleven grandchildren. He was waiting for about 11 ½ months. This gentleman was in the military for over 35 years in an aviation unit, supporting our country. He and his family wish to express their gratitude for your gift.

Your son’s left kidney was given to a 45-year-old woman from Pennsylvania. Her Kidneys had been failing her for close to six years. During that time, her sickness had made the matching of a kidney extremely difficult, but because of Matt and your family thinking of others, the right kidney did match and she is now on the road to a more meaningful life. Dialysis no longer consumes up to three days of her life, every week. She is grateful.

The recipient of your son’s right kidney is in a 56-year-old woman from Pennsylvania. She is married with six children. Her illness with and kidney failure made it impossible to work. She has also been on dialysis since March of 2001. Her family and support group thank you for your generosity.

The gift of your son’s lungs went to a 55-year-old gentleman from New Jersey. He is married with three children. He loves to ride motorcycles and enjoys animals, especially dogs. His disease put him in the disabled category until you so willingly gave him a second chance at life.

The recipient of your son’s liver is in a 32-year-old gentleman from Delaware. I can tell you he is recovering well and is going home soon. This man was so sick that had it not been for your gift, he would not be here today. His family thanks you for this special gift.

Matthew’s pancreas was recovered for donation for islet cell transplantation. This is a procedure where the cells that produce insulin in the pancreas are transplanted into patients with diabetes. Researchers are experiencing very positive results with this procedure.

This is the major part of the letter. As I read this and the point of this being 'my gift' or my 'family’s gift' was so far from the truth, this was all and totally Matt’s gift to others. He had long ago put that focused thought into his wishes and lovingly placed this safely with us to pass on. Matthew has meant so much to so many, in so many diverse ways, that words give this little awareness of the goodness and benevolence Matthew was/is. Those of us who had the opportunity to really know Matt are blessed to have experienced him in life. Now there are those who are experiencing all of this through his death.

Matt,

I just wanted to write you a little note today to let you know that I think about you so often.  Your mom does too and is coping as well as she can and we're all real proud of her and we know you are too.... :-)

She and I went to a movie this week that we had been wanting to see (I'm honored to be her "best movie buddy" now that you're not here...you're a hard act to follow, kid!! )...anyway, the movie opened with a funeral scene and I knew tears were going to fall, but we did good and made it through...then the movie ended with a funeral scene too!  Dang, a person can only take so much and your mom and I both came out of the movie bawling.

I got her to sit down on a bench outside the theatre and we both just kinda sat there weeping and thinking of you.

Finally I said, "Ya' know, Matt's watching us right now, going..."Geez Mom and Aunt Connie, CUT THAT OUT!!"   LOL

Your Mom said you were probably saying, "GET OVER IT!"    LOL 

We both laughed and moved on....it was a healthy moment for both of us...a time when we both realized that our sorrow and weakness is not something you enjoy seeing while you watch over us...but we're only human... :-)

Matthew, it's so hard, but we're really trying...be patient with us.

We love you and miss you so much!

Aunt Connie

I didn't have the privilege of knowing Matthew, but I can see why he was so loved.

My mom is an annie survivor. I just read your post and had to visit. What an angel on earth Matthew must have been. Just looking at these pictures he is definitely looking down from heaven protecting his loved ones. I think this website is an incredible tribute to his days here. My prayers are with you. How lucky you all were to have someone so incredible as part of your family and your memories. He will be in my thoughts. I will starting a support group on Long Island for annie survivors and for those personally touched by aneurysms. I hope to get the word out so more people in the medical profession are aware of what to look for.

I am very sorry for your loss of Matt. Heaven is a surely a better place with Matt there. This web site in his honor is beautiful. On July 1, 2004, I discovered that I had 5 aneurysms. I have had 3 surgeries. One annie coiled four more to go.

Even though I only visited with Matt a few times over the years, I was impressed by what a great kid he was and what a great man he ultimately became.

At the funeral, while I listened to everyone remember Matt and their love for Matt, I was brought to tears by the suffering caused from his passing. I truly felt the need to stand up at the funeral and speak like so many others did about Matt, but I did not. I felt that Matt would not want so much sadness, I felt that he would prefer we all remember what he gave us and that he is happy where he is now. I felt a peace come over me that he was in a better place and did all that he could do for others while he was here.  Jesus Christ sacrificed himself on the cross for us. I feel that Matt lived and died by HIS example.

During the funeral Wesley said that Matt was a hero to him. I feel like he wasn’t only a hero for Wesley, but was a hero to us all. Matt’s death gave life to so many, so that they could have a more fulfilling life, so I will always remember him as a hero.

Rest In Peace Matthew

As one of Christina Garber's co-workers, I am grateful for the chance to know Matt posthumously. Thank you for the gift of being able to view Matt's life through the lens of a camera and the eyes of his loving family. Chris and I agree, "in death there is much life." His life is your legacy--what a blessing to have your lives touched by someone so special.

It was a shock when the news came that Matt had died. Meeting him in Sweden was one of the best things that happened to me there. He was very important to me and we had the best time. In the almost two years we spent with each other we saw a lot of the world and absorbed all the new cultures and habits from the different people and some countries. Matt loved this and was very interested in this. I can still hear him say some Dutch words I learned him. Matt already had a place in my heart and he will always be there. I wish his family and Christina all the strength they need to cope with the fact that he is not around anymore.

In the time he spend in Holland he met my whole family and my family wishes you also a lot of strength.

Love,

I remember Matt as a friendly, kind, extremely intelligent and open-minded person. We studied together at Spalding University, spent quite a few hours over discussions on US-Soviet history, biology and evolution matters... It was always so engaging talking to him! I'll always remember Matt as a bright and honest young man. I'm thankful to have met such a great person. It's so unfair that he had to leave us so soon...

Dear WONDERFUL MATT, We met you some years ago and spent together a couples of days but they were enough to understand what a marvelous person were you, so handsome, kind and sensitive. We will remember you with your beautiful smile full of life and joy. Emiliano and Mirko often remember when you played with them and we will always think you with your gentle smile. You will be always in our hearts and in our minds. Goodbye wonderful Matthew,

EDELWEIS PIERO EMILIANO and MIRKO LICATA (SICILY, ITALY)

Hi from Australia. I did not know Matt, but I do know Connie, who is one of my dearest friends. I'm sending you all, Matt's Family and Friends, my deepest sympathy with your great loss. My thoughts are with you,

Dear Paul, Karyla and family,

I cannot find words to express my and my family's sadness in learning such a sad news.  All the people who met Matt when he came in Licata remember him as kind, sensible and sensitive person.  We will never forget him.  We feel very close to you in this moment even if we are so far from you.  We understand your pain for losing Matt but we hope you will pass this moment over.  Be strong.

A truly hug from Giuseppe and whole family.

Giuseppe Profumo (Licata, Sicily)

I am very sorry for your loss. I can look into Matt's eyes and think how awesome of a child. To have the forethought to leave his wishes in a living will and remove the burden from his family. And in the tragedy he could give life, sight, the ability to walk, to be free from pain, to give immunity and so many other gifts. And I can see how deep his spirit is and to know not only for those that received life after his death, but for those that will continue receiving his gifts for many years to come. I know, KJ and Connie, you would love to hear his heartbeat. But his heartbeat is in you everyday. His touch is with you and others. How amazing it is to believe that Matt's Legacy will live on. Losing someone we love so dearly is something we feel we may never heal from. But this amazing young man you raised has left so much and I know he will never leave you. He will be in your rain in your sunshine on your best days and on your worst days. And in his gentle way he will guide you and keep you and thank you for being his mom, his aunt, his friend and his hero. I hope it gives you comfort to know he is a special guardian angel over you. Sometimes we don't have the answers why God seems to pick the prettiest flowers first. I can only imagine that he does not want us to know. I am sure that Matt's life was one of God's plans. I truly believe we are not here on earth for the good we do but for the need God has for us in heaven...I believe this because some live a minute and others live a hundred years. I hope you find solace in the gifts Matt did leave behind and most importantly his love for you and his family and friends and even the strangers his life will touch for years to come.

Much love and Prayers

Kim

(kimchick@hotmail.com)

Karyla, Connie, and family,

As I read this page, and I looked at the picture of this beautiful child of yours....my thoughts were very simple..... what an amazing young man.....his time on this earth was indeed short, but he left his mark here.  What a legacy of love he left behind!

"For Nothing Loved is Ever Lost, and He Was Loved So Much."

You are each in my thoughts and in my prayers....

Pam +_ZNurse_/Its_ZNurse just_scarlet@hotmail.com

I loved my little Ya-Ya Petite Matthew just like my own son. He was just the gentleman that you would have wanted your son to grow up to be. He was more like a friend to me the last few years than he was the little boy I knew. I was always excited when he came to town. Karyla would call and say Matt is coming home and we would say "Oh boy, we can to go out and play with Matthew."

Karyla was pregnant with him the same time I was pregnant with Goose. We both had C-sections.

I mailed him silly Valentines and cards on holidays since he lived out of town. But, he surprised me, and sent me a Thanksgiving Day card this past year. It was such a surprise and meant so much to me.

I loved hearing about all his "STUFF" and since I'm an Army brat I actually understood what a lot of it was.

He was very special, anyone that looks at this website will surely say the same thing. He was very precious in that he gave us an education on how to live life.

Be kind, smile, love, be the person you want to be, go somewhere you want to go, do something you want to do.

Do it for Matt....."Let it Be."

With Love,

Matt was my classmate in a KungFu class in Columbia, Ky. He was my sparring and workout partner for several months.

I always thought that he was one of the "GOOD GUYS"... I never heard him say anything bad about anyone.

I can't express in words, how sad I am that this has happened. Matt will be missed.

Matt Johnson was a wonderful and adventurous person who was very dear to me for many years. Although I had not seen him for quite some time, I miss him as if we parted only yesterday. He has always been an inspiration to me to break the rules, take risks, and dream big. I take comfort in knowing that he has gone to a better place and look forward to seeing him again someday. My deepest sympathies go out to Karyla and the rest of the family. I’ll end with a poem by Lord Byron, because poetry always reminds me of Matt.

‘So, We’ll Go No More A Roving’

So, we’ll go no more a roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we’ll go no more a roving
By the light of the moon.

Love,
Lauren